他說:要不要?就300元，可以嗎?
45分鐘嗎?房租誰付?
他說:有一次就是15歲的女孩給的。哦，在內地若房租便宜的，也多是女孩子給的。
唔,你說的是那種關係?
你不是說300元那種嗎?
他高傲的笑笑，我沒1000元不接。不過是雙鐘計。
你有男朋友沒?
我為什麼要告訴你，你不過付我就300元。在香港你那可能找上有我這種質素的。
他說，你就是愛充。現在你還不是乘乘的服侍我。
噢，你要不找多一個人?
男的女的?
他說:當然是男的。就我從前的男朋友，不，只睡那種。他不覺得他是愛我的。我們只做。
你傻的啊!
我不是說笑，他看起來挺迷人，是韓國人。單眼皮。
他不相信，那怎樣可能?真的嗎?不過三人行還真是普遍，房東都不理會了。
沒傷人，沒叫罵，就當是好事發生了。
這兒還真的便宜，他來的時候第一眼看上了我。一個月全包了。
包什麼?
你怎會不知道。
300元嗎?我要你吧。
反而他都不愛我，和我不停造造造一個月後。
我問你，你愛男人?你不是結婚了嗎?不信那個主了嗎?
哈，你明知故問。
傻瓜。
記性工作者2 《我不賣身 我賣子宮》後
2008年12月16日 星期二
2008年11月22日 星期六
2008年11月17日 星期一
2008年11月7日 星期五
EX-
i could not even express my sadness. not a man being thrown onto this world. but the being of himself is totally excluded by others. whatever he works, whenever he smiles. there's no one cares.
i was not much unhappier than him. but what else should i be? indifference too.
i feel him totally. i was surprisingly feeling very similar to his being. and, without noticing what's wrong with me. shall i pity myself not being so damn busy and to complain every thing in the world. as long as i life, SHOULD i ever complain to anyone of my boring life? who needs my notorious lies?
until, i accidentially killed someone.
until, i m in a jail.
until, i m going to escape from the sunny skies.
eye sees through the gate... miles away the ice was melting...
not until the day i've been killed. not until then i m given back my freedom. no longer bond by words. no longer bond by the moral judgement. no longer bond by the preculiar trauma i had gone through. how delightful will be that dreaming day arrived. for how long i hv been waiting for that day, when my day comes. i m suffering. i m fucking suffering by my innocent tone of voice. i really hate my voice. i really do not matter who is finally around me when my big day is come.
for my own sake i might have to be silent. and there's nothing worth to tell, in spite of the dizzy feeling within me. it keeps me from thinking the universe properly. i lost my sense of doing thing correctly. i act like a robot.
i act like a robot, i need my reboot. i can react if you need my reflect actions in your presumed way of thinking. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ........ we don't need to entertain each other. at the end things just happened. what really made the difference at the end, i wonder. who stupidly told you he would change the world. is HE God? does GOD also make a robot like me? a distorted humanity, a bodily whore. if i ever lie to you, because i know my day has come and i really dont want to bother you anymore.
i excluded myself. i could not put myself back to the machinery. if you care, this is my very honest feeling. if you really care. i m asking for sickness. the thing which made ppl concern and care more about you, but your body actually.
wheres the exclusion from? i m tired of it.
the negative energy drives me now. no no not negative. the very intuitive driver in my brain. i cannot control the monster and stop typing. because me is no longer me. i type, therefore i see myself here. if i would not, i will lose my trace of thinking. this is prehaps in a big mess, like a deep well full of undistinguishable liquid of wisdom and hatred. the best and maybe the worst thing in the history. i see myself jumping in and out the liquid, but not getting wet miraclulously. i closed my eyes, feel the cold splash onto my face and bare body. some of my sense informed me i am still alive. despite mentally i feel i am not.
what a dream. not, i flied again. i SHALL be here. not there and then i shall be here again.
i was not much unhappier than him. but what else should i be? indifference too.
i feel him totally. i was surprisingly feeling very similar to his being. and, without noticing what's wrong with me. shall i pity myself not being so damn busy and to complain every thing in the world. as long as i life, SHOULD i ever complain to anyone of my boring life? who needs my notorious lies?
until, i accidentially killed someone.
until, i m in a jail.
until, i m going to escape from the sunny skies.
eye sees through the gate... miles away the ice was melting...
not until the day i've been killed. not until then i m given back my freedom. no longer bond by words. no longer bond by the moral judgement. no longer bond by the preculiar trauma i had gone through. how delightful will be that dreaming day arrived. for how long i hv been waiting for that day, when my day comes. i m suffering. i m fucking suffering by my innocent tone of voice. i really hate my voice. i really do not matter who is finally around me when my big day is come.
for my own sake i might have to be silent. and there's nothing worth to tell, in spite of the dizzy feeling within me. it keeps me from thinking the universe properly. i lost my sense of doing thing correctly. i act like a robot.
i act like a robot, i need my reboot. i can react if you need my reflect actions in your presumed way of thinking. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ........ we don't need to entertain each other. at the end things just happened. what really made the difference at the end, i wonder. who stupidly told you he would change the world. is HE God? does GOD also make a robot like me? a distorted humanity, a bodily whore. if i ever lie to you, because i know my day has come and i really dont want to bother you anymore.
i excluded myself. i could not put myself back to the machinery. if you care, this is my very honest feeling. if you really care. i m asking for sickness. the thing which made ppl concern and care more about you, but your body actually.
wheres the exclusion from? i m tired of it.
the negative energy drives me now. no no not negative. the very intuitive driver in my brain. i cannot control the monster and stop typing. because me is no longer me. i type, therefore i see myself here. if i would not, i will lose my trace of thinking. this is prehaps in a big mess, like a deep well full of undistinguishable liquid of wisdom and hatred. the best and maybe the worst thing in the history. i see myself jumping in and out the liquid, but not getting wet miraclulously. i closed my eyes, feel the cold splash onto my face and bare body. some of my sense informed me i am still alive. despite mentally i feel i am not.
what a dream. not, i flied again. i SHALL be here. not there and then i shall be here again.
2008年11月2日 星期日
我們又如何能 輕言愛
愛情從來就是一廂情願的
當其慢慢擴大把我吸入其中 我不過是黑洞中的小粒子
就那麼樣 慢慢地 把自己放棄
慢慢地享受被磨拆的血肉 再慢慢 慢慢地向身邊的人 投訴
將明明理應在想像世界的幻影 投映出來
還豪不害羞給身旁的人手舞足蹈說說這 又說說那
要是有一匹血紅色的絲綢 單戀的人 就立即躺在上
豪不廉耻說 這是我為你流的血
明明 是那麼的美麗
就是明明是亮麗絞好的月夜 還是可以把它和人狼連上最惡作劇般的惡耗
對此 愛在人世間到底是不是就不過比恨只稍稍高級
而且 恨還有叫人熱血的力量呢
恨何時像黑洞無聲無息
記一個人 還是恨他
總比愛情的溫吞來得實際
若要愛呢 請也把他恨起來
是買一送一的高價單位呢
打開報紙 看到了吧
愛情從來就是一廂情願的
當其慢慢擴大把我吸入其中 我不過是黑洞中的小粒子
就那麼樣 慢慢地 把自己放棄
慢慢地享受被磨拆的血肉 再慢慢 慢慢地向身邊的人 投訴
將明明理應在想像世界的幻影 投映出來
還豪不害羞給身旁的人手舞足蹈說說這 又說說那
要是有一匹血紅色的絲綢 單戀的人 就立即躺在上
豪不廉耻說 這是我為你流的血
明明 是那麼的美麗
就是明明是亮麗絞好的月夜 還是可以把它和人狼連上最惡作劇般的惡耗
對此 愛在人世間到底是不是就不過比恨只稍稍高級
而且 恨還有叫人熱血的力量呢
恨何時像黑洞無聲無息
記一個人 還是恨他
總比愛情的溫吞來得實際
若要愛呢 請也把他恨起來
是買一送一的高價單位呢
打開報紙 看到了吧
2008年10月26日 星期日
i tell you i never lie to you, it's a lie. but that's my intention.
just like how i open my legs for you. but that still not the most honest part of my body. until i feel your penis. for a certain moment i hv lost my mind nowhere.
i never cry in front of you. but i always cry for you. for your dignity. for you deny that you love me. or you need me. need my flesh. why denying love at first sight? is that because of we all afraid of how people here and now constructing love. full of committment and pain.
i wasnt even lie to you when my blood come over your penis. that was the third day of my period and i really need you. for the first time i feel very depressed few days after that. because i knew that it isnt fertilized. i nearly want to kill myself but i remember i hv promised whom i would not. oh, maybe that's you. the uncontrollable depression. i thought i always trying hard to be naked in front of you. but you never see clearly what's in my eyes. what i really looking for in my mind. do you really love me at all? what is love afterall? love isnt that appetite of sex? who cares the fucking love inside the pussy. or in my throat? did you kill her? what she trying to kill herself? but, why me? if both of us are suffering, why should i bull shit here? men is the busiest speice in the universe, they fight for the death and never return home. what they really deserved is loneliness, perhaps, the loneliness of their path. and women? being keep in a cage like me? with a block over my wall?
well. even thought there is no sex. we still have love, aint we? but the end of it, is coming soon. pain happens when we started to weight our give and take. and it is why every relationship is failed and spoiled. even, i really open myself for you. however i never learn good enough to play this game. i m always the loser. no love, no sex, no words, no no no no no. the only choice i left is to lie.
just like how i open my legs for you. but that still not the most honest part of my body. until i feel your penis. for a certain moment i hv lost my mind nowhere.
i never cry in front of you. but i always cry for you. for your dignity. for you deny that you love me. or you need me. need my flesh. why denying love at first sight? is that because of we all afraid of how people here and now constructing love. full of committment and pain.
i wasnt even lie to you when my blood come over your penis. that was the third day of my period and i really need you. for the first time i feel very depressed few days after that. because i knew that it isnt fertilized. i nearly want to kill myself but i remember i hv promised whom i would not. oh, maybe that's you. the uncontrollable depression. i thought i always trying hard to be naked in front of you. but you never see clearly what's in my eyes. what i really looking for in my mind. do you really love me at all? what is love afterall? love isnt that appetite of sex? who cares the fucking love inside the pussy. or in my throat? did you kill her? what she trying to kill herself? but, why me? if both of us are suffering, why should i bull shit here? men is the busiest speice in the universe, they fight for the death and never return home. what they really deserved is loneliness, perhaps, the loneliness of their path. and women? being keep in a cage like me? with a block over my wall?
well. even thought there is no sex. we still have love, aint we? but the end of it, is coming soon. pain happens when we started to weight our give and take. and it is why every relationship is failed and spoiled. even, i really open myself for you. however i never learn good enough to play this game. i m always the loser. no love, no sex, no words, no no no no no. the only choice i left is to lie.
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