i tell you i never lie to you, it's a lie. but that's my intention.

just like how i open my legs for you. but that still not the most honest part of my body. until i feel your penis. for a certain moment i hv lost my mind nowhere.
i never cry in front of you. but i always cry for you. for your dignity. for you deny that you love me. or you need me. need my flesh. why denying love at first sight? is that because of we all afraid of how people here and now constructing love. full of committment and pain.

i wasnt even lie to you when my blood come over your penis. that was the third day of my period and i really need you. for the first time i feel very depressed few days after that. because i knew that it isnt fertilized. i nearly want to kill myself but i remember i hv promised whom i would not. oh, maybe that's you. the uncontrollable depression. i thought i always trying hard to be naked in front of you. but you never see clearly what's in my eyes. what i really looking for in my mind. do you really love me at all? what is love afterall? love isnt that appetite of sex? who cares the fucking love inside the pussy. or in my throat? did you kill her? what she trying to kill herself? but, why me? if both of us are suffering, why should i bull shit here? men is the busiest speice in the universe, they fight for the death and never return home. what they really deserved is loneliness, perhaps, the loneliness of their path. and women? being keep in a cage like me? with a block over my wall?


well. even thought there is no sex. we still have love, aint we? but the end of it, is coming soon. pain happens when we started to weight our give and take. and it is why every relationship is failed and spoiled. even, i really open myself for you. however i never learn good enough to play this game. i m always the loser. no love, no sex, no words, no no no no no. the only choice i left is to lie.